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  • This is why I hate my friends

    When I got the axe a couple of weeks ago, I sent out a broadcast e-mail to all my shiftless friends announcing that 1) I'd been summarily executed; and 2) not to send any more e-mails to my work address, which would soon become an electronic dead zone. As I spent the next couple of hours packing up my work life into little boxes and downloading personal files onto disc, I figured that inevitably at least one of my clueless friends would skim over the "don't reply to this address" part of my message and respond.

    Well, it turned out that four of my friends qualified as clueless… but at least one of them had a good excuse. My buddy Angus – showing surprising mental dexterity for someone with brand spankin' new 2-week old twins (see obligatory baby photo) – replied in less than an hour with this:Twins1

    I ran across a position that may fit your background down here in DC.  Description below:

    Title:  Nanny

    Job Description:  Full time Nanny to care for twins and toddler. Some cooking.

    Desired Skills:  Experience caring for twins and toddler.  Background in seal clubbing industry with grilling and sommelier skills a strong plus.

    Salary: Negotiable

    Please send resume and salary requirements to MrsAngus, Managing Director.

    The sad part: my wife says I have to send in a resume.

  • Notes from the Unemployed

    Best thing I heard all week, courtesy of one of my fellow casualties from last Friday's purge:

    "I have an expensive car, and I'd rather not have to start hooking to pay for it."

  • Fuck me gently (chainsaw optional)

    Hey! Hi! How are you? That's great! Hope you had a fantastic weekend! Want to hear what happened to me?

    On Friday, I came in to work! Just like I have for five years! At the job where I was the first employee, and the third person in the company! Where, for the first year and a half, the entire company was me and the two owners in a 15×15 room! Where I didn't even get paid for the first couple of months! Or take any benefits! Where, after my twins were born, I only took 2 1/2 days off, because there was a big business pitch coming up that I knew could make or break the company! Even with one of my daughters in the NICU! And where, two weeks after that, operating on two weeks of <2 sleep/night, I represented the company and presented 25 different pieces of seal-clubbing brilliance and won the business! Where, after my son was diagnosed with autism, I still didn't miss a single day of work! Where I didn't ask for a raise for 2 1/2 years, because
    I believed in the importance of reinvesting in the company! Where I didn't take a week off for three years because to do so would have basically stopped the company from being able to do business! Where TheCEO became not only TheCEO, but one of my best friends! Where we turned 3 guys in a crappy little office into something close to an $8 million business! Where I recruited other friends to join us, because we were building such a great place to work! Where we hit a rough patch back in March, but I never blinked and plowed straight ahead, because I believed things would work out for the best! And where we suddenly hit another one in August, and I was a bit shaken, but they told me everything would be okay and I said okay and pushed ahead, because I believed things would work out for the best! And where, on Thursday, they told me things were looking really uncertain, and for the first time ever (and I did this because I'd always been honest and straightforward with them, and didn't want to stop now) I said that I had some real doubts, because unlike 5 years ago – when we started this thing together – I have a family now to look out for, and my first responsibility has to be to them! And they nodded their heads and said, "We know, we know, it's the same for us, too."

    On Friday, I came to work! And the day after I expressed serious concern about the company for the first time in five years, after five years where I gave this business and these people – these friends of mine – everything I had to give…

    They laid me off.

    Cut off my family's benefits immediately. Gave me two weeks' severance. Pulled out a gun and shot it through my fucking heart.

  • I’m not sure if it’s absolute power, but I’m pretty sure I’m corrupted absolutely.

    Courtesy of Xiobhan, I hereby present you with the power to waste 15 minutes of time—as well as any groovy superpowers you might choose to bestow upon yourself. Here's what I came up with:

    ThePersuader

    He even has his own catch phrase: "Let's discuss this rationally."

    I'm not sure, but I think his powers include the strength to crush the human spirit, the psychic ability to create compelling rationales for doing something pointless and stupid, and the spiritual fortitude to talk about himself in the third person without embarrassment.

    Your turn…

  • Ghoulish

    Since there seems to have been a public outcry over the goulash I cooked for TheWife as a belated Anniversary dinner last weekend—and given that, at least in New England, it's looking to be a nasty, rainy weekend perfect for a little hearty beef stew—I thought I'd offer the recipe here. As a point of fact, this recipe is swiped in its entirety from Maryana Vollstedt's extremely appealing Big Book of Casseroles, which I picked up over the summer and has proved, to this point, to be an excellent resource for warm food in chilly weather…

    CLASSIC HUNGARIAN GOULASH

    INGREDIENTS
    2 TB vegetable/canola oil
    2 lbs round steak (stew beef) cut into 1" cubes
    2 large yellow onions, diced
    2 cloves garlic, minced
    Kosher salt
    Fresh-ground pepper
    1 TB paprika (note: Vollstedt recommends using real, hardcore Hungarian paprika. I used supermarket paprika, which is presumably much milder, and afterwards wished I'd used more of it. Just so you know.)
    1 Tsp caraway seeds
    1/2 Tsp dried marjoram
    1 cup beef stock/broth
    1 cup red wine (note: Vollstedt recommends a dry red… I went with a nice cabernet, which a) worked great, and b) helped to lubricate the cooking process substantially)
    1 Tsp red wine vinegar
    2 TB tomato paste
    1-1.5 Cups baby carrots or peeled/sliced carrots
    1 Cup peas
    1 TB flour
    1/2 Cup sour cream
    Rice or extra-wide egg noodles

    DIRECTIONS
    1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

    2. In a Dutch oven over med-high heat, warm 1 TB oil, then add beef and brown (5-10 mins). Transfer beef to a plate, but don't pour out the stuff in the Dutch oven.

    3. Reduce heat to medium, then add remaining oil and sauté onions and garlic until tender (5ish mins).

    4. Stir in your spices (salt & pepper to your preference), plus beef stock, wine, vinegar, tomato paste & carrots. Bring to a boil.

    5. After the whole thing reaches a boil, turn off your burner, cover the Dutch oven and put it into your real oven. Bake until beef is tender — approximately 1 1/2 hours.

    6. Enjoy your wine for the next hour and a half. Maybe watch a little football. Not that it matters.

    7. Oh, wait — don't forget to make your peas! If you use frozen (and really, who doesn't?) just boil 'em about 10 minutes before you reach the 1.5 hour mark.

    8. At the 1.5 hour mark, pull out the Dutch oven and stir in the peas. Then mix the flour into your sour cream, and then stir the mixture into the juices.

    8.5. This is probably also a good time to begin cooking your rice or egg noodles. Plan accordingly.

    9. Bake, uncovered, for another 10-15 minutes. Taste for seasoning; add more salt/pepper/red wine (if you have any left) as you please.

    10. Eureka: you've made a goulash. Serve it in big bowls over rice, egg noodles, or whatever floats your boat. Pour a few glasses of red wine (open a new bottle, if necessary). Sit down. Eat. Drink. Be grateful that you're sitting inside, eating something warm and hearty, while it's cold/rainy/snowy outside. Sigh contentedly.

  • Iceland, apples, Cassels made of sand. That kind of thing.

    Things I learned this weekend:

    1. The NFL season is over.
    2. Matt Cassel? Dead to me. You hear me? DEAD!
    3. On a related note, apparently I'm not alone in thinking that Randy Moss looks extremely disenchanted. Um… that's not a good thing.
    4. All of which helps to explain why I spent the better part of the 2nd half yesterday in my back yard, away from my beloved plasma, painting a dollhouse. With pastel paints. Which, for the record, is kind of a suck-fest.
    5. Also, for the record: not my idea.
    6. "Why is this house pink?"
      "Because it's a dollhouse for our little girls."
      "It looks like a bottle of pepto-bismol exploded all over it."
      "Shut up and put on another coat."
    7. On a substantially less painful note, we went apple picking on Saturday at the beautiful Nashoba Valley Winery. The good news? Like last year, there was relatively little screaming and everyone had a good time. The bad news? There was a wedding taking place on the grounds as we picked. Apparently, Butterfly made the connection between the pretty woman in the white dress she saw walking across the lawn with our own wedding photos and related discussions last week (as we celebrated* our Willow/Pottery anniversary — thanks to Ms. Picket for helping me figure that out), and as a result has decided that she wants to get married and have a pretty white dress.
    8. I really look forward to discussing this with her over the course of the next 25ish years.
    9. And finally, I'll take this opportunity to point out that while I discovered on Friday night that the strange, haunting, breathlessly lovely and deeply, profoundly
      & emotionally moving music of Sigur Ros is every bit as effective
      live as it is on CD… there's probably something to be said for experiencing it in an environment where the guy standing next to you isn't stumbling drunk. And playing lots – and lots – of really exhuberant air guitar. And trying to phoenetically sing along with the Icelandic/Hopelandic lyrics. Even after you helpfully suggest that he "shut the fuck up, before I start breaking ribs." Even – perhaps especially – if the guy in question is someone you may work with.
    10. I'm speaking theoretically, of course.

    * When I say "celebrated," I should make it clear that I basically blew our anniversary evening off by spending 3 1/2 hours writing a proposal for some freelance seal clubbing work while she fell asleep on the couch. Although I did send a big bouquet of flowers to her office that afternoon. And I did cook her a big, beautiful pot of goulash on Saturday night. So it's not like my behavior was completely irredeemable, right?

  • Three pets, two guests, and a major plot twist

    A weekend in bullet points:

    • On Friday afternoon, I fled my home, my job and my family for a weekend of gentle debauchery in New York – the upper west side, specifically – with old pals KK and Demoncrat. Evening #1 involved lots of trash talk, many beers, one frickin' enormous plum sake at a fine Japanese restaurant, and finally Demoncrat falling asleep on KK's dog bed. Good times.
    • We started Saturday by taking KK's gigantic, beautiful Rhodesian Ridgeback puppy to Central Park, wherein we discovered thousands of other New Yorkers doing the exact same thing. Observation: even on a lovely, sunny morning in September, standing out in an open field watching dogs frolic and play… New Yorkers just don't come off as terribly happy people. Call me crazy.
    • Then we hopped on the subway and traveled to the scenic Bronx for a matinee game at Yankee Stadium. The game served as our excuse for coming to New York – what with this being Yankee Stadium's last season, with the new version opening right across the street next year – and we had pretty decent seats along the first base line (upper tier, but still a great overview of the field). Being a Sox fan watching a Yanks/Rays game, I found myself torn… on the one hand, I wanted the Yankees to win and help the Sox catch up to Tampa in the standings (which turned out to be an irrelevant hope, as the Sox were simultaneously getting spanked by Toronto). On the other, I'm pretty sure I'd rather cut off and eat my own fingers – one by one – than actively root for the New York Yankees in any capacity. Finally, I decided that my best case scenario would involve the earth opening up in some kind of Old Testament-style act of God and swallowing both teams whole.
    • Which, uh, didn't actually happen.
    • The game itself actually kind of sucked. The Yanks came out flat, made some bad plays, and Tampa just stomped them into the ground. Which is fine, whatever, but the whole place felt lifeless — which is just about the last thing I expected to experience in Yankee Stadium. Hell, even in Fenway when the Sox are getting kicked around there's still a sense of energy to the setting… but Yankee Stadium was just flat. Maybe this is just the by-product of the vaunted Yankees resigning themselves to a 4th-place season, but they played flat, the crowd was flat, the energy level in the Stadium was a flatline — in the end, we were bored silly and ended up leaving during the 7th inning stretch. Pretty disappointing, overall.
    • Then we went back to KK's apartment, wrestled with her dog, watched her cat stalk us from the rafters, and ultimately had some more beers.(Good stuff, too — Dogfish Head Raison D'Etres, Smuttynose Pumpkin Ale, lots of Long Trail stuff… all of it quality. God bless her.)
    • And then Demoncrat slept on her dog bed again.
    • On Sunday, we followed our walk through Central Park with a visitation to a sidewalk book/music sale, which included a fun encounter with a legit NYC nutcase — an older woman who was flipping through the CDs and talking to herself with great energy and enthusiasm when she came upon an old Nirvana CD. Her reaction: "Fucking Kurt Cobain. He ruined everything in music. You can't even call it music. It's just fucking horrible." And then she actually picked the CD up and threw it across the table, to illustrate her disgust. "Jazz is real music," she continued, and then proceeded to explain to several dozen people just how stupid today's music is. (Note: she somehow browbeat KK into buying a David Sanborn CD. I'm still not sure how this happened, but I'm pretty sure I feel embarassed for KK.)
    • Then we kicked Demoncrat to the curb (whereupon he caught a cab to catch a train to return to DC to continue undermining our way of life with his devious visions of "fairness" and "hope."), and headed off to the biggest damn IMAX screen in the world to see – at long last – The Dark Knight. Which I won't bother telling you about, as I presume I'm one of the last people in the civilized world to catch it onscreen, other than to say that the helicopter shots when the camera swoops over the urban landscape before spotting Batman perched on the edge of some skyscraper? Truly fantastic/unnerving/vertigo-inducing when watched on a screen 3 stories high.
    • Then we went back to KK's swingin' bachelorette pad for an afternoon of mediocre Pats football.
    • Except! Wait! Wait! While walking back to her swingin' bachelorette pad, I got a call from TheWife, who had an update on our friend ElF. Who has continued to have all kinds of weird medical stuff going on, and to be honest when TheWife called and said, "I need to tell you what happened to ElF," I was fully expecting that she was going to tell me she'd died.
    • Which wasn't quite what happened. What did happen was that last Friday, ElF was found unconscious on the ground in the parking lot of her son's school. She was rushed to the hospital, where she was immediately set up for all kinds of tests. But before they could even launch into the really crazy, esoteric cardiopulmonary stuff they had in mind, they got back the results of the initial blood draw they did when they admitted her in the ER. And discovered that her blood alcohol level was four times the legal limit. In other words, the kind of blood alcohol level that's toxic to most people… except hard-core alcoholics.
    • (Which means, yes, I'm suddenly seeing the title of the ElF post linked above in a somewhat different light.)
    • When confronted with this discovery, ElF denied, denied, denied… then admitted. And spent 48 hours in an inpatient thing detoxing, and then went home.
    • She's apparently enrolled in some kind of outpatient thing, and has 1 shot to get it right.
    • When she screws up – and to be clear, it's a when, not an if – she'll be tossed into an inpatient program.
    • Did I mention that she came by our house last Tuesday night – while TheWife was at a Sox game – to say that she'd been a half-hour late picking up her son from afterschool-care, because she'd been in medical testing all morning and was on new meds and had overslept and was just so disoriented and confused and… and, of course, I bought it all, because it all made total sense, but when she and her son left to go back out to their car and – honestly – she looked just incredibly unsteady, and I offered to give them a ride (because, you know, she was unsteady from the meds and the sleeping, which was completely reasonable) and she said "No, no — I'm totally fine" and I watched her basically weave up my walkway to her car, and load her son in, and then back out and drive away…
    • Clearly, she was fucking blasted out of her mind the entire time. And lied to me. And drove off, dead drunk, with her 5-year old son sitting in her back seat.
    • Which is why I haven't responded to an e-mail she sent us last night, thanking us for our support and offer to help out with her son. Because, in all honestly, I'm so angry I want to fucking strangle her right now.
    • (Was that enough of a digression? Helluva a plot twist, you've gotta admit.)
    • Anyhow. After picking myself up off the sidewalk in the wake of that news, I went back to KK's place and watched the Pats scratch one out against the Jets. And to be clear: I called for Cassel's head no less than a half-dozen times during the course of the game. For the record: I have no confidence in him. And I realize I may be rushing to judgment… but I just don't feel good about the Cassel era. At all.
    • I ended up staying at KK's on Sunday night, because I had a Monday morning meeting in upstate New York. Hooray! (And to clarify: yes, TheWife is cool with me staying with KK — in fact, she called several times over the course of the weekend to discuss scheduling for when she could ditch me with the kids to go shopping with KK in Manhattan.)
    • So. Monday morning. I was up before the crack of dawn (thanks, offspring, for ruining forever my ability to sleep past 6am), showered and ready to go before KK was even conscious. That being said, she woke up as I was preparing to take off and meandered down to her kitchen – which is next to the front door – to put together some whatever-the-hell-it-is-that-Rhodesian-Ridgebacks-eat. All of a sudden, she let out this bloodcurdling scream — like, to the degree that I thought she'd accidentally sliced her hand open with a knife or something. So I come sprinting across the apartment (keep in mind that it's Manhattan, so we're talking a solid 8 feet here) to find her pointing at the floor…
    • Where I see what is almost certainly the biggest fucking cockroach I've ever seen in my life. Do you have a ruler handy? Pull it out, look at the distance between 0-3 inches, and then picture a cockroach that big.
    • Did I mention that I have a major problem with large-scale bugs and spiders?
    • Oh. My. God. And as KK pointed at it, I swear – hand to heart – that it started moving towards her. At which point we both freaked out and jumped back. And at which point her big friendly Rhodesian Ridgeback decided he wanted to be friends, so he ran after it — with the cat watching us all from a safe distance.
    • The roach disappeared for a minute, and KK started to wig out. (Rightfully so, I might add.) We stood there for a minute, just stunned, and then started to talk about what to do. I asked if she had any kind of bug killer spray, so she went to her cabinet and pulled out… Windex.
    • Then the roach was suddenly out on the open floor again, so she bravely pushed forward and started spraying it. With Windex. "I think you're making it shinier," I said.
    • Then the dog started playing with it again, and it scuttled off somewhere.
    • We spent a minute talking about it – mostly, I was trying to calm her down, but truthfully I was pretty freaked out myself – and it finally came to the point where I said, "Get a tupperware and trap it. Then give me a call to let me know how it worked out." At which point I grabbed my bag and headed for the door.
    • "Hey! Heyheyhey!" She called at me. "Have a nice day with your three pets!" I called back, and then listened to her door slam shut behind me just as she started to drop a whole boatload of F-bombs.
    • And then I got the hell outta New York. Phew!
    • The end.
  • Oh, the places you’ll go

    Four places, four memories:

    1. Kahana, Maui, Hawai'i — 2000
    Our first morning in Hawai'i, where I discover that sleeping until 9am Boston time means finding myself awake at 3am somewhere in the mid-Pacific. With nothing to do other than stare at TheWife while she sleeps – which, you know, gets kind of creepy after a while – I step out onto the deck (pardon me: lanai) of our rented condo.

    The air is warm, and humid. I can smell the salt on the breeze blowing over the Pailolo Channel, and the sky is rich with more stars than I've ever seen before. I can make out the shape of palm trees below, swaying slowly. I can hear the surf gently breaking against the beach. It may just be the jet lag, but I become hyper-aware of just how surreal it is that I'm sitting here in this strange and distant place, a million miles from home, living an experience that, to be honest, I really have no right to be enjoying. Whatever: I fall back into a plastic deck chair and allow myself to absorb the night.

    In time, the darkness begins to dissipate, and a new world begins to take form around me. The waves cresting and crashing. The lustrous green of the palm leaves. The dark and silent form of Moloka'i, far across the waters. Two or three other early risers, who've joined me in staring out across this ocean of tropical space, alone and safe on their own lanais.

    And then. There is something on the water. Far away, but a shape that appears for a moment, and then is gone. At first, I think I'm imagining things… but I keep watching the water. And two or three minutes later, it happens again: a great shape rising from the sea, and then disappearing again beneath the surface.

    Oh my God. Whales. I'm seeing whales – humpbacks – breeching.

    I run back inside and gently awaken TheWife. "I'm sorry, but you have to see this. There are whales jumping out of the water. You have to see this." I return to the lanai, and a minute or two later she joins me. And for three or four long minutes, there's nothing. We sit in silence. And then: there they are. Two of them. Farther down the channel than when I first saw them, but unmistakable in the growing light. Humpbacks. "Whales," TheWife says, a smile growing across her face. 

    We sit there watching them. Rising. Falling. Breaching, if only once or twice more. Breathing in the warm, salty air. The palm trees swaying. The surf breaking against the beach. Together, a million miles from home, lost in disbelief.

    2. England — early 1980s
    We're sitting on a train. I have no idea where we are, other than somewhere in the English countryside. I'm staring out the window, watching London fall away into hedgerows and sheep, trees blurring together, grey skies and cars driving the wrong way along thin roads. My sister sits next to me, even more lost. Across the row, my parents are deep in conversation – probably discussing this little trip away from our trip, taking a day out of our first-ever visit to Europe to see an old colleague of my father's who now lives somewhere not-London – but my sister and I are rapt with attention at the window. This is a new country, for us. We keep waiting to see something foreign and miraculous. What does England have? Castles? Where are the castles? Or wolves? Or… what else is there here? (My sister, who's somewhere around 10, is hoping for princesses.)

    Then my father reaches across and taps me on the arm. "I have a game for you," he says. Great! The sheep and trees are getting old. "What game?" my sister asks. "I'm going to tell you some numbers. I want you to try to remember them."

    Huh? "Numbers?" I ask. "Numbers," he says.

    25ish years later, there's a lot I don't remember about that trip. I don't recall anything that happened after we got off the train, or the people we met. I don't remember where we stayed the whole time we were there, or most of what we did. But I remember sitting on the train, being bored, and then my father engaging me with a memory game. I remember that conversation.

    And I remember – somehow, despite the fact that I can't even remember half the passwords I need to use to access files and voicemail every day – the numbers he gave me. I don't even know what they mean (I think they were related to subways stops in from when he was a boy in New York)… but I remember the numbers.

    1-4. 3-4. 4-2. 5-9. 7-2. 9-6. 1-0, 1-0, 1-2-5. 

    Memory is a funny thing.

    3. Wind River Range, Wyoming — 1995
    It's been a long couple of days. On day one, we drove from Boston to Cleveland, stopping to spend the night with TheGirlfriend's grandmother. (I got to sleep on the couch. Good times.) On day two, we made it all the way to central Minnesota. Highlight of the first two days: seeing the Mississippi River. Other highlights: uh… well… (read: boring. flat. blah.)

    Day three, we finally started got to something interesting: The Mitchell Corn Palace! And Wall Drug! And Mt. Rushmore. And the bizarre, oil derrick-infested moonscape of eastern Wyoming. And then a riveting evening in Riverton, WY. But day four… day four was what we'd been looking forward to.

    After we decided to move to San Francisco – and got through the logistics of finding a place to live and getting our stuff from one coast to another – I found myself presented with an opportunity I'd been waiting for my entire life: the chance to drive cross-country, with 2+ weeks to get it done. So I went about creating multiple agendas: a southern route (survey says? X), a central, supa-quick route (survey says: XX), and an ambitious, great northern route that would have us fly through the flat and boring stuff on the first 2/3 of the country, then spend a solid week-plus zig-zagging back and forth across the continental divide, starting with Jackson, WY and then heading all the way up to Jasper in Alberta. (survey says: DINGDINGDING!!!)

    But today is day four. We wake up in the chilly pre-dawn hours – I'm surprised that it can feel this cool, even in mid-August – and are on the road by 6am. And after three days spent mostly on Interstates… we're finally on a scenic drive, with only a few hours on Rte. 26/287 standing between us and two days in Jackson. Quickly, we disappear into dense forest, and the road begins winding its way up and up and up into the foothills of the Rockies. It's still pretty dark, and there's a heavy mist in the road, but we have the whole place to ourselves — THIS was what we've been looking forward to, all these months.

    And then, as we turn a corner, our headlights suddenly illuminate – on a ridge, standing just above the road – the biggest damned elk I've ever seen in my life. I immediately slow down to an almost full stop, and we watch it watching us — its eyes reflecting our headlights, its coat dense and thick, even in late summer, its massive, elegant rack (nice rack!) cutting through the mist each time it turns its head…

    Then, in a heartbeat, it turns into the forest and vanishes. And we look at each other, incredulous that something
    that enormous could just wander out of the woods in front of our little Toyota. And we smile, and I press my foot to the gas, and we move on. 

    God only knows what else awaits us… but I'm hoping we'll have a good time finding out.

    4. Venice, Italy — 1992
    I've only just fallen asleep when I feel something jab my side. I open my eyes and look up. It's an Italian cop, who's prodding me with his nightstick. I blink heavily once or twice, willing myself into consciousness, and sit up. It's not hard to do, as I'm already wedged uncomfortably into a row of semi-divided seats at the Venizia Santa Lucia, aka the Venice Train Station. 

    But that's what cops do when confronted with the indigent, right? They roust them. And indigent is exactly what I am: a lone American student trying to spend the night in the train station. They're not hostile about it; they're just doing a job. I see a couple of other pairs of cops elsewhere in the sitting area, similarly rousting a couple of other indigents trying to catch a few fretful hours of sleep. Mine speak to me, but all I can do is tell them I don't share the language – No parlo Italiano – so they say, "Passport" and I hand mine over.

    This wasn't exactly how I'd imagined my first night in Italy. I was spending the month of March traveling through Europe by rail (ah, the joys of Junior Year Abroad), and to that point had greatly enjoyed my time on the Cote D'Azur. But my travel companion had some friends she wanted to visit in Florence, and I wanted to see Venice, so we split up for a couple of days with a plan of meeting again later at the Munich Station, where we'd proceed north into Czechoslovakia.

    Unfortunately, after we'd parted ways in Milan… my train was delayed. And delayed. And then, for a change of pace, it was delayed some more. To the point where my 4pm ETA in Venice turned into a 9pm on-site arrival. Which meant that I arrived in the dark in a city that can only be described as a complete maze — with no direction, no way of communicating, and no clue as to how to get to a hostel (which turned out to be located on a different island at the far end of the city). Basically, I was screwed.

    I wandered out of Venizia Santa Lucia and began wandering the city. And wandered. And wandered. And wandered. By 11pm, I'd given up any hope of finding a place to stay. So I wandered some more — I had romantic notions of staying up all night, walking alone, taking in the city's sights from a twilight perspective that few people ever get to experience.

    Yeah. Great idea… until I realized that I was tired, and cold, and didn't really feel good about falling asleep on the sidewalk in a place where, if I turned the wrong way, I might fall into a canal. So I slowly made my way back to the train station, and a little after 1am found myself back where I'd started. The good news was that, aside from myself, there weren't many hobos sharing the space, so I felt that my odds of getting stabbed were relatively low. The bad news was that there was no place to actually stretch out and lie down, beyond trying to wrap myself around the armrests on a bench. Which is where the Italian cops found me.

    So. They look over my passport, then hand it back to me. "No sleep here," one of them says. He sounds almost apologetic. I nod in response, then pick up my backpack and step outside the station. It's still dark, and I still have no place to go. This kind of sucks.

    A minute later, I'm joined by another hobo — an Asian guy, who's also carrying a big backpack. "You American?" he asks. It's a question I don't always feel comfortable answering as I travel through Europe, as there's plenty of anti-American sentiment, but I'm too tired to think my way around it. "Yes." He smiles, and sticks out his hand. "I'm Cho. From Thailand." I shake his hand, and tell him I'm glad to meet him. We start walking and talking, as best as his English allows (which, granted, is far superior to my Thai)… he's on a year-long, worldwide journey, seeing and experiencing everything he can before he goes back to Bangkok and starts his career. I think he's an engineer of some kind. 

    Which is how I find myself at 8am in my first morning in Venice, sitting by the side of a canal, watching throngs of impeccably-dressed Italians walk by me on their way to work, as Cho and I huddle over his bunsen-burner style travel stove as he heats up – and then we eat, together – the best cup of ramen I've ever tasted. 

    Sláinte.
  • Goodbye, summertime

    Summer2008trio

    It's been a miserable three months, but hopefully this is what I'll remember about it in the years to come. Three bloodthirsty, vicious little mammals who drew far more joy from the sunshine, the warmth, the time spent splashing around a cheap little plastic pool in the back yard, and their time with Mommy and me than I can probably begin to comprehend.